And they stayed that way.

I have so much to say about this that all I'll say for sure is sometimes less is more.

You can't wait out a creative block

Last year, I started to do research for the upcoming CONTACT show. I thought I had a solid lead on an idea. Then it changed, morphed into something else. This did not concern me as it was my creative process. Then it all changed again and again until my ideas seemed to deteriorate into a muddle of nothingness and everything simultaneously. I was stumped, directionless with no connecting ideas. I only had fragments of ideas or ideas which had no relevance to the theme of this years show. The theme is 'Between Memory and History.' A sad joke being that I was short on both.
Panic mode set in and I found myself with a full on creative block. Everyone I spoke to and everything that I read on the topic of the creative block assured me that this was a normal event and could often lead to new and exciting ideas.
I asked for help and it was given in ways I could have never imagined. My partner, who has the remarkable ability to remain calm and look at things from a myriad of perspectives. He always has my back. My friends, who are also artists and understood what was happening offered advice in ways that allowed me to let up on myself and just create without the unrealistic expectation that everything will be a goddamned masterpiece. The whole reason for being in this group show is to push myself to experiment with photography and do things I wouldn't normally do.
I was reminded that it was the process that I needed to focus on, not the end product. Let it happen and it will come.
I'm happy to say that the work is coming along and I'm in the final stages or post production of my pieces. It is a long, slow and often surprising process.

Love the mix tape and the mixer

I still have mixed tapes that were made by friends.
I only kept a few that I really enjoyed with the intention of making cd's.
I remember making mixed tapes and how much care went into the selection of music. The theme of the mix and then of course the cover.
This photo was shot in the alley behind the Karma Co op in Toronto.

Time the Avenger

Sleep and time intertwined.
I wish I had more of it on a daily basis.
Used to be, when I was a child that time would stand static. An hour seeming like an eternity, and the summer seemed to last forever.
Now, I am constantly trying to make time to do things. And then when I do have the time, I am often too tired to do what I initially set out to do.
I am perplexed by how swiftly a day moves and confounded by the lightning speed of so called, spare time.
Time and perception of having a lack thereof creates a great deal of anxiety for me.
Living has no present, past or future. It just is - this is me alive now in this moment.
Our brains slide along this time line incessantly, reminding us we are finite.

Be Nice, clear your Motherfu**ing ice!

Its a rant about people being inconsiderate and not clearing the sidewalk in front of their property.
First, big up to our Super duper intendants for being so diligent about clearing the ice and snow in a timely fashion.
Pushing a stroller through the snow and ice is no picnic to begin with, but added to this a complete laziness on the part of what seems to be landlords of rental properties and its an accident waiting to happen. And what of those who have mobility issues trying to get through the snow and ice? Well, they are just shit out of luck.
My favourite is the people who perform the bare minimum and clear what appears to be a 4 inch wide rut in the sidewalk only in front of the porch to that particular building. This is (to borrow a phrase from a friend) a real commitment to laziness.
The city of Toronto has begun to hand out fines for not clearing in front of one's property and frankly, they are pretty minor considering that if someone slips outside of your property they do have the right to sue your ass. And I'm pretty sure they would be awarded more than $105.00
If you do have mobility issues and/or are elderly - the city will help you clear your sidewalk.

So, c'mon don't be such a jerk...clear your ice.

International Womens Day

"We know more about the air we breathe, the seas we travel, than about the nature and meaning of motherhood" - Adrienne Rich

Lighten Up

It's enough that I put a bathing suit on yesterday and went to the pool to get some exercise. I was so tired that it took all my mental and physical strength to get there. I just kept thinking about how great I would sleep that night.
It was not to be as Ms. M kept waking up with a terrible congested cough and fever. She was in a bad way but eventually did sleep some. Me - none. My Mother alarm was engaged and I slept in ready mode. When Mazy finally awoke for the day, she had more energy than seemed appropriate for being under the weather. Its at these times when I feel a bit bitter towards the current situation that Mazy pokes me in the belly with her index finger as if to say "lighten up, we will only be in this moment once."
Smart girl.